There is freedom in knowing Who you are

In one of my previous blogs, I alluded to the fact that for many years, I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. In high school, I felt awkward and thought that I didn’t belong in any of the social circles. Let’s be serious, I think we all felt a bit awkward in high school! Although, I wonder if popular kids, jocks or cheerleaders felt awkward or if they truly enjoyed their time in high school?  I was reading a study in Yale News called “National survey: Students’ feelings about high school are mostly negative”, that said “students see high school as a place where they experienced negative emotions.”  The article can be found here: National survey: Students’ feelings about high school are mostly negative | Yale News

For those that are parents —interestingly enough, this article shares a program that was developed called RULER; for the purpose of helping high school students with the range of negative emotions they experience during this time in their life. It is an evidence-based approach to social and emotional learning, developed by The Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. Please check out the video in the article, as this program helps students “understand the value of emotions, building the skills of emotional intelligence, and helps to create and maintain positive school climates." I wish this would’ve existed when I was going to high school as it definitely could’ve helped me understand the various emotions I was feeling with school, family, and relationships.

For much of my life, I used to compare myself to others. If I was around someone who was the life of the party, I would think “why do I have to be so serious and should I be more like her?” Also, I didn’t think that I was a very interesting or fun person to be around when I was younger. In retrospect, I was very insecure, not comfortable with myself and I didn’t know who I was.

Although I’ve been a Christian since I was in my late 20s, it wasn’t until I went through a horrific traumatic event and subsequent counseling sessions and prayer (a much-needed healing as a result), that I began to understand who and whose I was.

Through the healing process, and as my faith in God grew stronger, He set me free from guilt, condemnation, and always wondering and caring about what other people were thinking of me, among other things. I now don’t put so much thought or effort into failing because I know who I am in Jesus Christ and that I am His child. This has given me such a freedom and peace of mind, that it allows me to spend more time walking in freedom and pursuing the promises of God, rather than being consumed by material things and the cares of this world.

I recall reading in my Joyce Meyer devotional about being “Free to be relentless” and she says that “One of the greatest freedoms that God has given me is the freedom to be me.” I value and believe this statement to be true for me as well. Once I truly understood and believed what the Bible says in the book of Psalms 139:14, that I am “wonderfully and fearfully made by the Lord”, I stopped comparing myself to others, and thanked God for who He made me to be.

I may not be as charismatic or gregarious as I’d like to be, but I am true to myself. This world is full of distractions, but I know my strengths, passions, limitations, and purpose in life, and I try to live that way, as much as I can. In Hamlet, one of William Shakespeare’s most famous plays, had it right when he said, “This above all: to thine own self be true.” For me, I try to do this by:

• Spending quiet time with myself, reflecting on my life and where I am, my thoughts and feelings, etc. 

• Sharing my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs openly, when I feel comfortable. I also express it through my writing in these blogs.

• Identifying and prioritizing my needs and what makes me happy. 

• Every so often, I take a mental inventory of behavior or things in my life that are not serving me anymore. This could be negative or judgmental thinking, complaining, etc. and try to let them go and give them to God.

Be true to yourself, as we are all created with value and purpose!