Sad and Grateful

One week ago today, the windstorm began to violently blow through Southern California. So many friends and neighbors of ours, at this point, too many to count have lost their homes and their possessions almost overnight. The Altadena community that we were a part of for 11 years, was decimated over a 24-hour span. It’s heartbreaking.

As I sit here safely nestled in my home, I hear the unending hum of the super scooper planes (water planes) circling above, desperately trying to squelch the fires below. 

I’ve heard that nearly 200,000 people have been forced out of their homes by four major fires that have blazed their way through 29,000 acres of Los Angeles and the surrounding cities. I’ve heard that at least 10,000 structures have been destroyed solely by the Palisades and Eaton Canyon fires. 

Today and over the next few days, we are expecting another set of wind gusts throughout this area.  

At times, throughout the day, waves of intense sadness have come over me. If I dwell too long on the sadness of it all, I am learning that I am no good to anyone or anything. And so, I pray…

So many thoughts of “why” and “how” are rummaging through my mind right now. “Who is to blame? Could anything have been done differently?” Or the age-old dilemma of “Why would something so bad like the fire and devastation happen to so many good people like our friends and neighbors?” I understand and believe that we live in a fallen world (Meaning, the world is not how God originally intended it to be before the fall from grace. Our world is imperfect, marred by sin and suffering due to the original sin of Adam and Eve, and resulting in a reality where we humans experience pain, evil, and moral struggles on a daily basis.).

I truly believe what the book of Isaiah, chapter 61, verse 3 in the Bible says - “To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” My prayer is that all those who have been devastated and are hurting, that they will give God their ashes, and in turn, He will give them beauty (or blessings). 

On a cheerful note, I am seeing an amazing generosity pour in by numerous people, organizations and companies in California, and from other states. It is unfortunate that it takes a tragedy like this to open hearts and pockets, as well as to release a kindness and a unity among us.

My heart is full of gratitude. As I wrote about in a previous blog, two months ago, we left our close community of Altadena and bought a home 15 miles east - to another close-knit community. Over the past two years and prior to moving, we looked at and put in offers on numerous houses in the Altadena area. All of these houses, including the house that we were renting for 11 years, have all since burned down. While we were house shopping, I remember feeling hopeless and discouraged with each offer that was rejected. Although we kept getting “no” after “no,” God knew when that “no” would be turned into a “yes.” And, that although that “yes” would take us away from a community that we loved and who loved us, it saved us from an area engulfed with flames and a lot of heartache. Even so, my heart is breaking for all of the devastation that the fires have caused, but mostly for our friends and neighbors who have experienced such great loss.   

Over this past week, at times, I have carried a heavy burden of guilt; anguish over the fact that so many of our friends and neighbors lost their homes, but the Lord moved us out of Altadena in the nick of time. However, instead of feeling guilty for their loss, I’m going to commit to praying for them and helping them in whatever ways we can, but also to keep Jesus at the center of my life and maintain an attitude of thanksgiving.  I wholeheartedly believe and trust that "His ways are higher than mine."

I don’t typically share too much of the spiritual aspect of my life. However, given the vast destruction and ensuing sadness that these fires have caused, I have one request and that is for you to seriously ponder this:

Life is precious; we are not guaranteed that we will see tomorrow. I don’t say this lightly, but unfortunately, suffering and trials are part of this life. I do not put my hope in this world or the earth, but in my God, who loves me and gave His life for me. My hope is in Jesus and in a life and an eternity with Him. Jesus loves you and He wants a relationship with you.

The remains of our house in Altadena