Rewiring the Grump: Can negative talk literally shrink your brain?

“To err is human; to complain is even more so.” This was a famous quote by the English poet, Alexander Pope. I think what he was saying is that that as human beings, we all make mistakes and complain. I completely agree, but have you ever found yourself to be a chronic complainer? 

Something I’m learning about myself is that at times, I can be quite a whiner. What I’ve noticed is that after I’ve complained too much, I experience what I call an 'emotional hangover’ - it just leaves me feeling crummy and depleted. In talking with some of my friends regarding this, it seems as if complaining causes many people a great deal of problems and destroys the joy of anyone listening.

I felt so lousy after the last vent session that I decided to explore this further and to treat myself like a science project. I ran an informal 12-hour experiment to monitor every time I caught myself venting (or complaining). 

As soon as I started my day, I decided that I would try and count the number of times that I complained in one day. When I woke up that day, I found myself murmuring, as I was tired, and I didn’t feel well rested. After five minutes in the car driving to work, I found myself stuck in traffic (which isn’t hard to do in SoCal), and I became a little impatient and started to vocalize my annoyance at the other cars. Shortly after getting to work, I got stuck in a cycle of negative thinking and silently voiced my complaints. By the time I got home that afternoon, I had already reached 25 complaints. As humiliating as it is to admit, by bedtime, my number of complaints was too many to count. 

Through this experience, and the residual discomfort that followed that day, I realized that complaining is truly toxic and that IF I continue to allow it, it will pollute my life. The unsettling nature of that day led me to do some digging. The first thing I was reminded of is in the book of Ephesians, chapter 4, verse 29 which says, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” As I started digging deeper into this scripture, I now understand that the ‘corrupt word’ means any foul, profane, vulgar or worthless words. 

Another key finding was a video from Emily McDonald, who is a student of neuroscience. She talks about neuroscience and how “Complaining, judging or criticizing, can actually change your brain to make you less focused and productive and decrease your problem-solving skills.” She goes on to say that “When you complain, you are wiring your brain to see more problems.” Scary huh? Please check out the entire video as it’s intriguing and it helped me to understand the physiological toll of complaining (negativity). https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQw0ToKDyHl/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

There is another guy by the name of Mike Malagies that I enjoy listening to. He is a hip-hop artist, who has a unique ability to merge catchy rhythmic beats with a clear message of hope. His video dives into the transformative power - for better or worse - of what we say. What really impacted me is when he says, “What world are you creating with your words?” He goes on to say, “Stop talking about your burdens and talk about your blessings!” It's amazing how much impact our words actually have! https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTyplGIEYLR/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Lesson learned:  Talk about your joys, rather than your woes!