Are you a negative Nellie or positive Polly?

Last week, I published a blog on “Do your thoughts to define you?” This one has a different twist but includes some overlapping sentiments.

By now, you can probably see from the compilation of blogs on my website, that I think a lot. I’m an analytical thinker and planner at the core. And, I wonder, if we were to take a look at our thoughts and actions, from the time we get up to the time we go to bed, what would that look like? In this previous blog, I mentioned that as human beings, each of us have 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Throughout the course of a day, are you full of hope and expectation, and have recurring positive thoughts or do negative thoughts fill your mind?

As I previously mentioned, I do believe that we have the power and control over our thoughts, and that we can choose to not entertain and dwell on them (especially if they are negative) and push them out of our minds. We can also encourage ourselves to focus on something else.  

I think that if we are honest with ourselves, our days are filled with a combination of positive and negative thoughts and subsequent actions, but I also believe that it depends on the day and on any challenges or difficulties that are we are going through. Additionally, I truly believe that it may depend on any unresolved traumatic events that we’ve gone through in the past. IF we have gone through the grieving and healing process and have obtained closure, chances are our days would be filled with more positive experiences than negative. However, if we haven’t dealt with our traumatic experience(s) and feelings, we may view our thoughts and days through the lens of the trauma, rather than the reality that exists.

I know that we’ve all gone through difficult times, and one of my most challenging or traumatic times was seven years ago. This is a story that I will share at another time, although, for the time being, I can tell you that I was out of work for a little over a year and a majority of the time, I was afraid, and I felt like I was trapped in my own negative world. My family and friends would encourage me, but I felt like I was in a fog, and didn’t know if I was ever going to be the same. Once I started to get a little bit better, I would catch myself thinking negatively about everything, from what I looked like, how I felt, and if I was ever going to be the same rational person I was before I got sick. I also began to realize that I was responding to my husband in an unkind and negative manner. It was at this time that I remembered the words in the book of Proverbs, chapter 18 and verse 21, that our words are powerful - they have the ability to raise someone (or ourselves) up and breathe life into them or tear them down and bring death (or discouragement).

As I began to further ponder the concept of negativity, a thought popped into my head - can negativity be contagious? I then began to conduct a little research and I found out that according to The One Body Community, “that emotions, primarily negative ones – like fear, anxiety and outrage, are actually highly contagious.” Please click on the following link for the entire article: (Are Negative Emotions Contagious? (onebodyinc.com). I have found this train of thought to be quite true, but I also think it depends on where we are mentally and physically at the time we encounter negativity, either from ourselves or from another person. I believe the stronger we are (and the less bogged down we are with emotional baggage), the better we will be physically, mentally, and spiritually. And, subsequently, the healthier our thoughts and actions will be.

Lately I find my days are made up of both negative and positive thoughts and actions. However, overall, I feel that the positive thoughts and actions far outweigh the negative. I don’t know if this will help you, but these are some of the things I do when a negative thought(s) or action(s)happen:

• I talk it out and pray about it. Through my numerous counseling sessions, I have learned that when a negative or perplexing thought pops into your head, many times there is a reason for it. Sometimes there’s an underlying reason for the negativity, such as an unresolved issue, dwelling or holding onto a hurt feeling, being overcritical, etc.

• I try and divert my attention by focusing on something else, like listening to music, taking a walk or being thankful for the many blessings I have.

• I focus on something that’s uplifting and helpful; things that are true, noble, just, lovely, etc. (Philippians chapter 4, verse 8). It’s amazing what happens when I focus my attention and thoughts on what is good!